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[mitzdemeanor]

Hello

Anyone 'asked' for money in their wedding invitations? It appears almost culturally rooted as to whether it's appropriate or not.

On the reception card at my friends' wedding, it said "Presentation much appreciated"
Seems like a subdued way to ask for money without asking for money. I wonder if I should do the same since we're really settled and have everything we need. Therefore, a monetary gift for when we decide when we need something.

Hope it makes sense!

[skooter]

I have seen "no boxed gifts please".

[lookin4ideas]

Personally I think I would be offended if I was asked to bring a gift never mind to bring cash!!! We were in the same boat and preffered cash as well but there was NO way I was asking for it, so when people asked our parents and wedding parties spread the word on our behalf.

We registered for a few things as well, upgrades to things we already had for those people who like to buy a gift as opposed to givng cash.

Hope that helps.

[icicle]

I agree it is frustrating when you don't know what to do with all the (sometimes useless) gifts. Once I bought a friend a pair of crystal swans for their wedding. When I visited them after the wedding, I saw my poor swans displayed in the bathroom... But I do not blame them. Their living room was already filled with other similar items which they received at their wedding!

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a way to get this "cash only" message across without offending anyone. Perhaps you could make up a gift registry with cash as one of the items?

[Newbie2008]

I think it's quite difficult. The problem with saying "presentation preferred" is that half of the people (or more!) won't understand what that means! I certainly didn't before I started reading it on wedding forums. And I've seen people mention that when they wrote "no boxed gifts", people just brought gifts not in boxes! You just can't win!

I know what you mean though. FI and I each have our own home and everything we could possible need. Plus, we're not going to be living in the same city where we're having our reception so we don't want to be carting presents across the continent. Please let me know if you guys have ideas on how we can convey that we want to be practical!

[neely]

this is a much needed question!! FH & I dont want gifts either. We live together already and have what we need. Besides - cash towards a house together is the direction we really want to go in. Family knows that but other guests - how do you say that? A friend of mine put their bank acount # on the invitation....not my cup of tea, but it worked for them.

[Niko]

We're in the same boat as well. Instead of money, we asked for a small contribution towards a honeymoon trip. This way we're not asking for cash outright for anyone who may feel awkward about it. Also, we didn't write anything about gifts on our invites. Instead we asked close friends and family to discreetly spread the word with other guests who might ask.

[kaedelin]

Ooohhhh I feel like such a dork! We went to a friend's wedding where the invitation said "presentation preferred"... we thought we had to actually *present* the invitation to show that we are invited guests and not random people trying to get free wedding food.....
(Could use an "extremely embarrassed" smilie now)

Anywhoo. I prefer cash gifts too. I guess the best way now is to have your family and close friends spread the word on your behalf, and/or hint at people that you'd prefer something more "flexible" (aka cash/gift cards)

Actually, is it possible to put gift cards on a registry?

[Jinglebelle]

My now husband and I were moving overseas almost directly after the wedding. We couldnot really take anything with us and so most people understood, but, what worked the best and is probably something everyone can do (rather than move overseas after the wedding) is create a Honeymoon registry. We chose http://www.thebigday.com/ because you can create the registry for anywhere and for pretty much anything. They advertise it as you are giving the couple the experience you purchase - however in reality you get a cheque at the end for the grand total of all the gifts given. The idea behind this is if you only get 1 tour instead of something for the 2 of you, you can use the money towards something else.
The great thing is you can actually put things like 1 night at the resort, or transportation to the airport or divide up your plane ticket costs into smaller sections so multiple people can contribute.
I must say it was probably one of the smartest things we did. Not only did we end up spendin much less on our honeymoon, we got to do things which we usually wouldn't have spend money on.
The only catch is there is a % taken off if you do not book your travel with them (I think it is 5% or something). So if you havent booked travel yet look into booking with them and then you have no registry fee.