Who do you think should pay for bridesmaid dresses??? - Vancouver Wedding Forum

tanya777 · 2006-08-10, 12:49 PM

Hello. Here's the thing. I have 4 bridesmaids. Two are my sisters and two are my best friends. The best friends offered to pay for their dresses but I feel a little wierd about it since I know that I will definetly be paying for my sisters dresses. Is their some sort of ediquette rule??? Then here comes the make up and hair is the bride resonsible for that tooooooo????? I'm thinking of meeting them half way. I pay for hair they pay for make-up. Does that sound reasonable?? Or should I pay for it all? It would be nice to hear what other brides have decided on this.

shortybride · 2006-08-11, 10:45 AM

I think this sounds completely reasonable, but prob because I am planning our wedding and I know how crazy weddings can get. I haven't decided what to do about our hair and makeup yet... :P and our wedding is a month and half away... As far as the dresses, are your sis' a lot younger that they don't have jobs or a way to pay or do you not want to ask them? Just curious maybe you could split 50/50 with everyone and that is equal to the cost of your sis' dresses and I think that is very reasonable. Ultimately if they are your really good friend they will understand regardless.

Good Luck!

mkov · 2006-08-11, 11:51 AM

I think if you can afford in your wedding budget to pay for the dresses then go right ahead, i don't think there's any proper way of handling it, everyone has different budgets for their wedding and if you can't afford to pay for the dresses then your bridesmaids should understand when you are honest with them. When i asked my friends to be my bridesmaids i told them that since we are trying to keep things small and we can't afford a whole lot before i got their answer i also asked if they wouldn't mind paying for their shoes and dresses and then i would pay for their hair and makeup. They were both fine with it.

Lana's Hair Design · 2006-08-12, 09:34 AM

I have been in about 10 wedding parties, plus my family owned a bridal boutique for 15 years and I have been a hair dresser for over 16 years. I have always paid for my own brides maid dress, no bride walked into our store and paid for any of their brides maid dresses and when it comes to hair and make-up if the bride paid for anyone it was usually her mom and maybe the flower girl. Sorry but when you step forward to accept the job of bridesmaid, you step forward to pay for a dress, shoes, hair, make-up (but BRIDES....they can go to their own hair dresser) shower (these can cost a small fortune) shower gift, wedding gift, stagette....it isn't cheap being a brides maid.

tanya777 · 2006-08-13, 05:22 PM

Thanks everyone for the input it's great to get other brides opinions. It helps a bit to. Look forward in chatting so more. Thanks.

younggreekbride · 2006-08-14, 11:01 AM

so is it NOT the bride/bride's family who pays for their dresses usually? My family is from greek background, and customs are that the bride's family pays for EVERYTHING (at least, thats what my mother says) but that would make our budget rise waaay too high... and besides, my bridemaids aren't greek... hmm, I don't know what to do...

pro-bridesmaid · 2006-08-15, 08:52 AM

The bride's maids pay for there own dresses, etc. Sometimes the bride buys her gown or here parents buy it....that one goes both ways. Get you parents to tell you how much they want to spend. If your fiance's family is putting in find out how much then you know how much you and your fiance want to contribute that should give you a budget guideline. Oh ya the groomsmen pay for the rental of there tuxes! Or buy there own.

Sarah · 2007-02-23, 07:34 PM

I used to work for a bridal shop and most of the times the bridesmaids paid for their own dresses. The only time I saw the bride pay for it was when they had a large budget for their wedding. Also if a much younger sibling was a bridesmaid and couldn't pay or it. I personally think it's perfectly acceptable for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. Just make sure the dresses you choose aren't to pricey so they can afford them.

tanya777 · 2007-02-24, 09:00 AM

I did have my BM pay for their dresses. They were gret and had no problems.
I tried to look for the best deal on the dress that we all agreed on. Ex: the dress at bridal stores was around 200.00 I went on netbride and got them for 100 (including shipping) each. I was so excited because it saved them each around 100.00 There will be duty/custom charges but I agreed to pay for them.

For the brides, I'd strongly recommend looking at netbride first before ordering through bridal stores ect. You will save hundreds and hundreds of dollars for you or for your BM.
Hope this helps anyone out.

www.netbride.com

Tanya

cowpolyslo · 2007-06-11, 11:21 AM

Is that bad? But I did come from a chinese culture..what is chinese culutre like when it comes to bridesmaid dress?? Should I pay? Or should I ask them to pay?

789HappyGirl · 2007-06-17, 06:17 PM

As a bridemaid in other wedding parties I have always paid for my dress. So I just thought this was normal to expect of my bridesmaids as well. This turned out to be a bit of a problem for one of my girls (she can afford it, but it was more a matter of prioity for her) my other girl was fine with it. To solve this I offered to pay 1/2 for both girls to be fair. It did hurt my budget a little, but I felt it was a small price to pay rather than have any hard feelings over it.

honeybee · 2007-06-18, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowpolyslo

Is that bad? But I did come from a chinese culture..what is chinese culutre like when it comes to bridesmaid dress?? Should I pay? Or should I ask them to pay?

I think the Chinese culture is renting in Hong Kong. The brides pay for the rent.

I believe it is fair for the BM to pay for their dresses fully, if they get to keep them after the wedding. Don't you think so?

smilinggirl · 2007-06-20, 01:27 AM

I guess I'm a rare-kind of bride. I've paid for all the BM's dresses, flower girls' dresses and my own. I don't have an overflowing bank account either. I purchased all the dresses during clearance times and took advantage of the price discounts! My attendants all have dresses that they can wear for the future and can easily alter to a cocktail dress if they so choose. I figured if I was asking them to wear a certain colour and style, I should cough-up the $ for the dresses. I think this is proper etiquette.

Girly1986 · 2007-09-29, 09:50 PM

I think that usually a bride-to-be asks her closest friends to be her bridesmaids, so there is obviously pressure for those asked to say yes, because they know how special it is that they were asked. So it's not like they can say no easily. Because of this pressure to agree, I think that the bridesmaids dresses should be paid for if at all possible.

I am having two bridesmaids, and I'm planning to spend $85-$120 per dress. There are some perfectly nice, beautiful dresses at lots of mall stores in that price range.

I am a student, and a lot of my friends are students too, so even $100 is a lot to ask of someone who is making $8/hr or is on student loans.

But if the bridesmaids are all well established in their careers, then I think it is polite of them to at least offer, if 100-200 is no obstacle for them. It certainly adds up for the bride (or whoever is paying).

princessj · 2008-08-04, 12:31 AM

hi. i'm chinese. i will be paying for bridesmaid dresses, hair, and make-up as well as the tuxedos for the groomsmen. it will be very expensive! so we are trying to budget accordingly with other items. from what i've seen so far, the bride usually does. the bridesmaids pay for the shower and the stagette so it can be pretty expensive on their side as well. it is my 1st time as a bridesmaid this year!

i think everyone is different and there is no rule. maybe talking with them to see what they think would help. good luck!